Review: “Dark Shadows” Doesn’t Have Much “Bite”

This weekend marks the return of the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton movie collaboration. Titled “Dark Shadows,” the film is a remake of the 1960’s horror soap opera “Dark Shadows.”

If I was asked today what my least favorite Depp/Burton movie is- it would be this one.

The story itself is pretty funny, Depp does give another fine performance, but “Dark Shadows” has a “schizophrenic” feel to it. Certain parts go their own way in an odd manner. In some Tim Burton movies this is a good thing, in “Dark Shadows” it is not.

Depp plays Barnabas Collins, a wealthy heir to family fortune going back centuries. When Barnabas rejects the advances of housekeeper Angelique Bouchard (played by Eva Green), a curse is put on the family. Bouchard, by the way, is also a witch.

Barnabas, now a vampire, is then locked into a coffin for 200 years. He manages to “escape” and return to his home where he meets his relatives of modern day. He then attempts to bring his family the prominence it once had in Collinsport (named after them) before the curse was placed. Confused? You have every right to be- there are many aspects to this film that just don’t make sense.

If you have seen the preview trailers for the film, you’ve already seen it’s best parts. Yes, there are comedic exchanges between the characters, but they seem just too stretched out. Most of these funny lines are delivered by Depp. If you do end up seeing “Dark Shadows,” keep an eye out for the quick line under a McDonald’s sign. It’s one of the best from this movie.

I was expecting much more from this talented team. For me, “Dark Shadows” just didn’t have much “bite.”

Dave Morales is a member of The Houston Film Critics Society